02 June 2025

The right words aren't always easy - what to say to someone who is grieving

When someone you care about is grieving, it’s natural to want to help. You might find yourself reaching for the right words, something comforting, something meaningful. But when grief enters the room, even the kindest of us can feel unsure of what to say.

The truth is, there’s no perfect sentence that can take away someone’s pain. But there are words that offer comfort, understanding and a sense of not being alone.

Keep reading to explore how to support someone who is grieving and how small changes in language can make a big difference.

It's okay not to have the right words

Grief can feel isolating and it can make the people around it feel uncertain. What do you say? What if you say the wrong thing?

It’s okay to feel unsure. What matters most is showing up with compassion. You don’t have to fix anything. You just need to be there and speak from a place of care.

Gentle alternatives that offer support

Sometimes, without meaning to, we can say things that feel dismissive or rushed to someone who is grieving. Below are a few phrases we often hear and gentler alternatives that offer more support.

Instead of: “You should be over it by now.”
Try: “Take all the time you need.”
Grief has no deadline. Letting someone know it’s okay to move at their own pace is a simple but powerful gift.

Instead of: “At least they’re in a better place.”
Try: “I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m here to support you however I can.”
Well-meant phrases can sometimes gloss over deep pain. Acknowledging the loss directly and offering support allows space for their grief.

Instead of: “Everything happens for a reason.”
Try: “I’m sorry this has happened. I’m here to listen to whatever you need.”
You don’t need to explain the loss, just being there to listen is enough.

Instead of: “It could be worse.”
Try: “This must be so hard for you. What do you need right now?”
Grief isn’t something to compare or measure. Compassion and presence are always more helpful than perspective.

Instead of: “You’ll get through this.”
Try: “I’m here for you, for as long as you need.”
Sometimes people don’t want to hear that they’ll be okay, they just want to know they’re not alone right now.

Words aren't everything, but they can mean a lot

It’s not about saying something profound. It’s about making sure the person grieving knows they are supported, remembered and not alone.

You can even say:

“I don’t know what to say, but I’m thinking of you.”

That’s enough. That’s real. And that can mean more than you know.

A quiet reminder

The people in our lives don’t need us to have perfect words. They just need us. A call. A message. A moment of connection.

And if you’re the one grieving, we hope this helps others show up for you in ways that feel kind and comforting.

Grief is something no one should have to carry alone