Supporting you through the loss of a child

The loss of a child is a grief like no other. The pain, the heartache, the overwhelming sorrow can feel insurmountable. If you’re walking this heartbreaking journey, we want you to know that you are not alone.

At Pettigrew Funerals, we see you, we hear you, and we want to remind you that whatever you're feeling is normal. Grief comes in many forms, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

We understand the complexity and depth of your loss, and we’re here to offer gentle guidance, comfort, and practical ways to honour your child, take care of yourself, and navigate the difficult days ahead.

Ways to honour your child's memory

In the face of grief, finding ways to honour your child's memory can offer a sense of comfort. You may find solace in simple, personal rituals or traditions that keep your child’s spirit alive in your heart.

Here are some ideas that may help:

• Create a memory box: Fill it with special items that remind you of your child. Photos, drawings, toys, or mementos. This personal space can serve as a source of comfort, a place to go when you need to feel close.

• Light a candle: Lighting a candle on special dates, anniversaries, or whenever you want to remember your child can provide a calming ritual that connects you to their memory.

• Visit a special place: Whether it’s a park, beach, or any location that holds meaning, visiting a place that you shared or that brings you peace can be a comforting ritual.

• Write letters: Writing letters to your child can be a powerful way to express feelings that are hard to say aloud. It can be part of your healing process.

Each family’s journey is unique, and your ways of honouring your child will be too. What matters most is that it feels right to you and provides you with comfort.

Talking to siblings or other children about the loss

If you have other children, it’s important to approach the conversation with honesty, but also with age-appropriate sensitivity. They may not fully understand the depth of grief, but they will feel the absence of their sibling and your emotions.

Here are some tips on how you could talk to them:

• Be honest: Children often pick up on unspoken emotions. Share as much as they can understand based on their age and emotional maturity. It’s important to let them know it’s okay to be sad, confused, or even angry.

• Encourage expression: Let your other children express their feelings in their own way, whether that’s through drawing, writing, or simply talking to you about how they’re feeling. Grief can be confusing, and giving them space to share is important.

• Reassure them: Children may feel scared or worried. Reassure them that it’s okay to miss their sibling, and help them understand that grief is a natural, though sometimes difficult, part of life.

Make special days feel meaningful

Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and other special events can be particularly painful after losing a child.

Here are some gentle suggestions for making these days meaningful while still acknowledging the grief you carry:

• Include your child in the day: Find a way to include your child in the celebration, whether that’s through a small gesture like keeping a seat empty for them, sharing stories about them, or involving their favourite items in your family activities.

• Allow yourself to grieve: It’s okay to feel sadness, and it’s okay if the day doesn’t look like it used to. Give yourself permission to experience your emotions, and know that it’s perfectly normal to feel a mix of joy and sorrow.

Take care of yourself during grief

It’s easy to forget about taking care of yourself while you're focused on others or immersed in grief. But self-care is essential, not just for your physical wellbeing, but for your emotional health too.

Make time for moments of rest, nourish your body, and seek the support that you need, whether from loved ones or professionals.

Remember, it’s okay to grieve, it’s okay to seek help, and it’s okay to take things one day at a time.

If you're ready and feel comfortable, attending grief support events can provide comfort and connection with others who truly understand your loss.

Our Child Loss Memorial Service at the end of the year is one such opportunity to come together, honour your child's memory, and find support from others who are walking a similar path.

Losing a child is a pain no parent should ever experience. If you're grieving, know that your grief is valid, and it’s okay to seek support, create rituals, and make special days meaningful in your own way.

At Pettigrew Funerals, we’re here for you, whether it’s offering a memorial service, providing a safe space for grief, or simply being a compassionate presence.

Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need support.